Here's one of my most recent penguin 'obsessions' – one that I encountered completely coincidentally via none other than this very Weekly Penguin feature. I couple of months back, I featured Brutal-Knack Clothing's 'In Frost We Trust' shirt, featuring art of penguins done in the style of Black Metal album artwork.
After I posted that, I was contacted via Direct Messages on Twitter with fatefull words: "were you aware that there was a full on Penguin Black Metal band?".
Enter the Rabbit Hole the one, the only...
Hailing from Sweden, Satans Penguins was formed in 1998 and has released just one full album and two demos. I've managed to get my mittens on the album and the first of the demos.
The original line-up of this 'avant-garde black metal' group is Killerpenguin (guitars), Helldiver (guitars), Mr. Malice (throw-ups) and Flame (lead bass). The group disbanded in 2003, but reformed back together for the third demo in 2006. Judging but I've managed to dig up, it hasn't done anything since. I hope I'm wrong and I'm just not deep enough in the Rabbit Hole.
So let's start with their origin story, 1999's demo 'Arctic Winter'. With the glorious artwork (by Mr. Malice) you'll think you know what you're in for. And then the album opens up about a black metal story about... The Smurfs. Yes, really, the album opener 'Gargamel's Revenge' is about Gargamel finally getting tired of the blue buggers and just tramples them to mush.
It is followed by a story about a Transylvanian evil wizard building the 'Penguin of Destruction'... from LEGO. The titular 'Satans Penguins' reveals the truth about penguins actually being Hell's most dangerous creatures. 'Army of Doom' continues in the same vein, telling how the black and white army born under nuclear winter will bring forth the end of us all.
I just can't put into words how creatively nuts this whole thing is. I'm not a black metal guy normally. It's not the topics the genre typically covers, but its tendency to be a stream of oppressiveness void of contrasts. I mean, it sounds amazing for a song, song and a half, but without anything for contrast, it becomes – for lack of a better word – dull.
Satans Penguins sure doesn't lack contrast! The music flirting with the more avant-garde side of black metal helps, but the lyrics are so penguin guano insane it makes the darkness of the music hit harder – and vice versa, the ludicrous lyrics seem even more bizarre.
